Long time since I've been on here.

Much has changed.  Now living in a house, teaching 40-ish students a week, practicing less than I'd care to admit, but finding that the Lord is really my portion and He's all I need.  He has answered prayer countless times.  Slowly but surely I'm learning to really trust Him with everything. 

Not sure what's next, but I know it's gonna be good no matter what. 

I sure like this season of life.  So much going on. 

Graduating Friday.  Lesson on Thursday. 

Oops.  Those should be in reverse I guess.

A few more days of teaching and then I am officially done with all things this semester!

Oh xanga...xanga xanga xanga...............

I wrote a super long post the other day detailing the outcome of all my summer program applications.  I am definitely not going to try to recreate it.  Basically, I didn't get accepted to any of the six to which I applied.  I am an "alternate" for a few, but the chances of getting to go at this point are pretty slim.  I got accepted to the American Wind Symphony for the summer, but ended up not signing the contract because the guy was kind of rude about it and wouldn't let me wait like four more days to submit the contract (I was still waiting to hear from two more programs at that point). 

Anyway, point being -- not accepted = disillusioned Sam.  I really thought this would be the year I finally get to do something with my summer.  I will again be doing the summer wind symphony here at UNT, which luckily includes a short tour up to Ohio for a final performance in Cincinnati.  But it's just not what I thought I would be doing.  Sigh.

It hasn't helped that this past week was a terrible clarinet week.  I have stupidly taken on entirely too many playing commitments and have consequently spread myself very thin.  I never feel very prepared for any one thing, and feel like I am always playing catch up just to stay above water.  I just want the semester to be over soon, because I am probably going to want to block most of these performances from my memory.  Ugh.  Why did I do two large ensembles, one contemporary chamber music ensemble class, commit to four different chamber groups for various events, and have two lessons every week?!?!!!!!!    I. Am. An. Idiot.  Plus, it has been awful reed weather -- they all sound atrocious right now.  ....whimper...

I am more ready than ever for the semester to be over, but I don't want graduation to get here all the same.  As soon as this ridiculous semester concludes, suddenly I am pushed out to the edge...forced to feel all the uncertainty that I'm semi-blocking out of my mind right now.  The future?  A plan?  Nope.  Don't really have one.  I'm sure God does.  I've just gotta do a much better job of letting Him direct things instead of freaking out, which I've unfortunately begun to do already. 

Agh....................

Ok.  I am going to breathe now.  And pray.  And then watch some Lost, go to sleep, and start a new week with some teaching.  Oh my.  Stay tuned to Sam's Spring Insanity, Vol. 4!!!